thrifty thursday

Here's a few of my favorite thrift finds of late:

minnetonka moccasins, vinyl records with fab covers for my latest art project

vintage dress

wonderful vintage crazy quilt top (just need a little tlc)

Happy Thursday!

we're learning, can you tell?

Caution:  school is in progress.

This is the result of letting Thaddeus have his own journal and telling him he can write "whatever he wants in it."

"Whoa, really?  Anything?"

He was excited.  That's what it's all about, right?

He decided to write a story.

It sounds familiar.

It could very well be a true story.

Legend is affectionately nicknamed "Baby" by his three year old sister.

And yes, he does poop in his pants.

And I guess it could happen when he's running at the walls.

it felt like a vacation

We took a little unplanned four day weekend vacation. 

It was wonderful, a gift from heaven.  And ironically enough, it was the result of Joel's layoff from his most recent job on Wednesday of last week.  We celebrated!  Honest.  It was a job that won't be missed.  After six long 80 hour weeks, we needed this time together as a family.  The day after Joel's job ended he didn't waste the daylight and went out in search of another job.  And jobs that pay the bills are scarce right now.  But this time, I can't explain the peace we had.  Maybe it was a mixture of relief and thankfulness for the time we could spend together and the faith that comes when it's all we have left, but we weren't worried.  The sixth company Joel called offered him a job.  An answer to prayer.  God, you are so faithful.

And for four whole days we had our daddy all to ourselves.  You would think he would take this time to catch up on some much needed rest.  But no, he took us on bike rides, played games with us in the park, walks through the woods, family fall festivals, music in the square, and late night movie dates.  He did what he always did and does the best--he loved us well and with everything he has.  It's no small wonder we adore him.

looking mighty fine on a park bench

 

We love you, daddy-o. You are our hero.

And thank you, my Lord and my God, for these four days of wonderful.

a picnic-ing we will go

Photos taken at my ranch in Nebraska this summer with my great grandma's quilt and my mom's picnic basket

I'm in madd love with picnics.  And you might be freezing and think I'm crazy but down here in Looosiana it's been hotter than a hornet's nest.  Yesterday it was 89 degrees.  Eighty-nine.  Today was the first day this fall that the temperature dropped and shocked us all into our stockings.  But that's when I like to picnic the most--when you're not in threat of a heat stroke.

I love just laying in the grass with all that blue sky above you and a soft quilt beneath you.  Watching little feet fly through the field and land every now and then beside you for a satisfying snack.  A few Sundays ago we had a picnic in the park right after church.  Nothing fancy, just ordered food and threw a blanket down (a beautiful blanket my friend Abbey made me).  The sun was a scorcher that day but it was still fun.  We are a picnic-ing kinda family.  

I just adore my Princess Astair's lovely braided locks

close up of the lovely blanket I was gifted

You can see more of my absolute favorite picnic scenes and ideas here.

the free blessings

{us guhrlz}

I am blessed.

Oh so incredibly blessed.

How do I ever forget this?

How can I ever complain?

I could never deserve all God has blessed me with.

It's Grace, undeserved and spilling over.

The Love of a Saviour though I am a sinner.

It's in the smiles and silly faces of four tiny people.

It's their laughter and embraces.

This soul deep kind of love that carries us.

It's in his voice when he looks at me.

His eyes that say it all.

The forever love of my very best friend.

There is no thing that can compare with these.

No worldly possession.

No earthly treasure.

The greatest blessings after all

 are the ones I've been given for free.

*Linking up to a whole lotta lovely right here:

Je t'aime Vieux Carre

I parked in front of the hotel on St. Charles in the heart of New Orleans at three o'clock.  

No rush hour traffic, no babies babbling in the backseat, no pre-schoolers pleading for potty breaks.  Just me, with nothing on the agenda but a romantic twenty-two hours in the Big Easy with him.  It was really happening.  I think I half expected one of the kids to get sick or have some emergency that would require us to cancel our plans.  But no, everything went so smoothly--heavenly even (and I'm not sure the French Quarter has ever been described in such a term before but for me and for this weekend it was).

He parked in front of the hotel on St. Charles at 3:45.  And I was waiting in the lobby.  He was still in his work clothes, his hair windblown and his boots dirty, but to me he looked positively wonderful and more dangerously handsome than ever.   It was almost like seeing him through new eyes.  Eyes that have long loved him, but haven't had the luxury of seeing only him for too long, features that my heart memorized and was now anxious to rehearse.

We rode his motorcycle through the French Quarter in the haze of an afternoon sun and a lazy breeze.  Winding in and out of narrow streets and the hordes of people.  And when we tired of that, we walked till the sun set over the St. Louis Cathedral, our feet tapping in rhythm with the city of jazz.  We stopped by our favorite shops, listened to music at Cafe du Monde, and then ate dinner beneath a canopy of lights twined through ancient oaks at the enchanting Court of Two Sisters.  

Lights twinkling overhead and a fountain gushing behind us, we talked about how well we remember what it was like to be young and hopelessly in love, and how this is even better.  The years add strength to passion, patience and understanding, acceptance and thankfulness for the differences.  There's a deep appreciation for the other, after having walked together through sunshine and rain and all kinds of weather.  Less selfish in love, more selfless.

photos:  French Quarter streets, band in Cafe du Monde, St. Louis Cathedral taken with iphone, sorry for the blur 

We woke up the next day to a glorious morning, a radiant but gentle autumn sun and a steady breeze that's rare in New Orleans.  We ate breakfast in the outdoor French Market Cafe, while a jazz band played Louis Armstrong's A Kiss to Build a Dream On  (click on this song and it will make you incredibly happy, I promise).  Everyone should wake up to this kind of breakfast.  Every single day.  And a few kisses for good measure, of course.

The French Market Cafe

We rarely visit the French Quarter without strolling through the French Market.  It's colorful, gaudy, and always packed with people.  My favorite wares are the handmade goods from Senegal, Africa.  Nine years ago, when we were dating, I bought a pair of handmade African sandals that I literally wore till they were in shreds.  I loved them.  My man expertly maneuvered me toward that ethnic vendor and insisted I get another pair.

French Market wares and African sandals

We left the Market and strolled through the French Quarter, hand in hand and carefree.  We turned down Royal Street and meandered towards the riverfront.  The sun was soft on the quaint streets splashed with bright shutters and adorned with intricate fern laden balconies.  My steps were lazy and my gaze was full.  I didn't realize just exactly where he was headed until he stopped in the exact same spot he proposed to me in Jackson Square, right in front of the towering and prisitine St. Louis Cathedral.  I laughed at him then and I laughed with him now  (he wasn't laughing the first time--he was deadly serious and I don't think I had ever seen him that nervous before, of course, laughing at him didn't help...)  Memories now overlapping and more treasured than ever.  

My gorgeous man, Royal Street, and where he proposed to me in Jackson Square

St. Louis Cathedral, and Joel riding through the Warehouse District, one of my favorite areas downtown

Funky Monkey (one of our favorite shops), Joel and I on Magazine Street, and me
(all photos in this post  taken with my iphone so please pardon the pixelation)  

Ah my man and Vieux Carre, thank you for a weekend to build a dream on.  It was a dream within itself.

thank you my friend

Source: weheartit.com via Christie on Pinterest

Really, truly, thank YOU.

For taking the time to write such encouraging comments and emails.

For taking the time to read this little blog in the first place!

God used your words and prayers to bring me so much comfort.

It's no small thing, this community of bloggers.

It's friendship at it's finest though miles and even oceans may separate us.

sniffle.  sniffle.  great big hug.


.....................................................................................................................................................................

My birthday is coming up in one week and to celebrate my hubby and I are going to be spending the weekend in the French Quarter of New Orleans.  It's only an hour from where we live and it's on his way home from work.  We're acting like young loves we're so excited.  Solo hubio y me.  Es muy romantico.  (I've learned all my spanish from Dora, by the way)  Oops, I think I got a little confused there, shouldn't I speaking French?  Pardon moi.  Je ne parle pas francais.

Source: flickr.com via Kylie on Pinterest

We have history in New Orleans.  The picture above is where my husband proposed to me.  In front of the St. Louis Cathedral in Jackson Square.

Bonjour, Vieux Carre, here we come!

not about me

Source: inspacesbetween.com via Joye on Pinterest

I don't think I've mentioned it on my blog yet, I think it's been too painful for me to write about, but my husband and I are no longer youth pastors.

The main factor is financial reasons--though God knows we would have kept going full steam ahead if He would have allowed us to.  This is a heartbreak we don't really know how to walk through.  It's what we always felt God called us to do and we were so certain then that He would make a way for us to do it.  Now we feel lost, bereft, afraid to dream anymore.  And life without dreams loses so much of its luster.  I've spent many nights crying myself to sleep, asking God why, straining to hear His answer, but even then knowing that there is no answer that would satisfy this ache inside me.  

 "Do you trust me?" God asked me today in a whisper meant to reveal my heart to myself.

"Do you trust my love for you?" He's gentle but persistent.

And my own hesitation confirmed my answer.  My heart is fearful.  Down deep in my soul, I know God loves me and I can trust him, but oh, my heart plays the traitor.  My heart with all it's fickle feelings.

It feels like God's given up on me.

It feels like hope deferred.

It feels like the end of a dream.

But will I trust my feelings or will I trust the God of my soul?

I'm praying for the strength to trust and for the courage to dream again.

 I was reminded of this post from two years ago when I was in a similar season....

.....................................................................................................................................................................

I started fretting.  And getting anxious.  Dreams were passing me by, floating just out of my reach and taking my heart with them.

Had God forgotten about me?  Was He passing me by, too?  I thought my dreams were important to Him.  Hadn't He promised me the desires of my heart?

I laid all this and more out on my messy kitchen table.  With my head in my hands I let my selfish tears flow.  I needed to know.  I needed the reassurance of my Father.

He was as gentle as He always is.  And yet His question was persistent.

"Am I more important to you than your dreams?"

I knew what God was asking and I knew what the answer would be.  In His own compassionate way, He was reminding me that this life I live is not about me.  I was clinging to my dreams instead of to His will.  I had my own ideas of how things should work out, what I wanted living for Him to look like.  It was just a matter of time, I thought, until God will bring my dreams to pass.  And although I know my dreams ARE important to God, what if He has other plans?

I had to let them go.  I had to choose again to let Jesus fill my soul.  His dreams must become my own.  And I am remembering just how incredible it is to dream God's dreams.  They are more, so much more than even I dare to imagine.

This life I live is not about me and I hope that it never will be.

It's about the overwhelming, life-changing, all-encompassing love of my Jesus that dares to make the ordinary into the extraordinary, the impossible possible, and is changing the world one mended heart at a time.

Use me as you will, Father, use me as you will!

family photo album

"Oops!  Did I just cut my bangs?  Oh, hahaha"

Mommy didn't think it was quite so funny.  And after telling Astair exactly what she thought, Astair  wailed, "Everybody won't like it"

Oh dear.  Must tread carefully here.

DJ Boston.

He's got that groove.

Those cool cat moves.

Those big puppy dog eyes of a Legend.

Hugs like a bear and kisses like one, too.

Loves his daddy like there's no tomorrow.

Loves his momma too.

Oh Thaddeus, Oh Thaddeus,

where have all your teeth gone?

Oh Thaddeus, Oh Thaddeus,

your smile is ever changing.

Daddy has one day off every week. 

 And the things we do in that one day could fill an entire month.  

We ride our bikes, we build campfires, we race our four wheeler, we make boats, we go on picnics, we swim, we laugh, we love him possessively and wish we didn't have to share him with overtime.

And then mommy gets daddy all to herself.  Sunday nights are date nights.  

Sunday is the most wonderful day.

Sunday nights are incredible.

This is for real, ya'all.

this may be a post about toilets and books

Just take a wild guess where this picture was taken.  Where in the world could you find a mother of four busy little children looking so absolutely peaceful?  It only lasted for three, maybe four minutes before some wee little person discovered my absence, but it was peace, nonetheless.  The great white throne room was quite a sanctuary.  Oh yes, you read that right-- I was hiding in the bathroom.  Ok, so maybe it felt just a tad bit foolish, but it was oh so very peaceful.  

I've never before understood why people bring reading material into their bathrooms.  I guess I never had the patience or time for luxurious baths, or for prolonged, uh-hum, toilet seat time (for lack of a better description).  But I've now recognized the importance and overall relaxing indulgence of a good many things to read in the bathroom.  Yep.  I now visit the restroom for that very purpose--to rest.  Why didn't I ever think of it before?  It's quite aptly named.  And reading is my unwinding, my uncurling of the toes, my mental breath of fresh air.  All I need now is a velvet chaise lounge beside my toilette.

And a bookcase.

Most definitely a bookcase.

Or I suppose my iphone will do.  I always said I would never read electronic books, that I preferred the weight of the words in my hand.  But then I discovered free ibooks.  And I can't refuse a free book.  I am one of those obsessive "readers" that has to be reading something all the time, whether it's the directions for my household appliances or even road signs, I MUST read.  I'm a speed reader, not one to skip words, just one to read them fast, hungrily almost.  

Right now, I'm consuming the classics.  They're free (have I mentioned that before).  And they're wonderful.  I was elated to discover some free works written by my favorite missionaries--  Amy Carmichael and C.T. Studd.  I've read Amy Carmichael's works, her prose and her poetry, since I was a little girl, but I just recently discovered her book Things As They Are and it is speaking to every cavern in my heart.  

Here's a list of some excellent free books I have in my ibook library (yes, we were just discussing toilets, but now we have naturally moved on to books):

Things As They Are

Amy Carmichael

Sovereign Grace

D.L. Moody

The Chocolate Soldier

C.T. Studd

The City of Fire

Grace Livingston Hill

Emma

Jane Austen

Home Education In Modern English

Charlotte Mason

Poems

Emily Dickinson

Jane Eyre

Charlotte Bronte

The Scottish Chiefs

Jane Porter

Hope of the Gospel

George MacDonald

(many many free books of his available

and some excellent fiction for older children)

I have to mention one other book you can download for free that I read back in highschool and have always loved.  I happen to own an old vintage copy of it that was printed in the late 1800s.  There are times when even the electronic version can't compete with the real, hundred year old deal.  

It's a classic called In His Steps by Charles Sheldon.

Isn't it lovely?  Don't you just love the old script on the first page?

But I digress.  That is all I am reading at the moment, and in my rest-a-room if I must.

Do you have any suggestions of books I can add to my plush bathroom library?

when God and I are honest

Face in hands, I watch as my tears drip heavy on my wooden floor.  One by one in a silent rain.

"I thought I knew you,"  my own voice sounds distant, strangled, hushed from the burdens it carries, mindful of the wounded pride it hints at.

"Oh, God, you know I said I'd give you everything, you know I promised to sacrifice it all.  But I never thought it would be like this.  Even when you came and took so much I held closest, leaving me mourning the loss of another dream of ministry, a loss of yet another pregnancy, an awakening in a cold hospital room without the comfort of my husband beside me, him being over a hundred miles away and working long hours and seven days a week.  You stripped me of all my security, yet why do I still feel you have rejected all I have surrendered to you?"

My angry words too hastily said now sit in the thick air between us.  I hold my breath, and your truth is here, as surely as I fill my lungs with it.

What sacrifice could I possibly give that would be acceptable to you?

You whisper truth and bring tender freedom, the truth I've always known yet somehow find myself forgetting:  there is no sacrifice but one.

One without sin, without blame, without stain of any kind.  One pure sacrifice made for...me.  His life for mine.  The Son of God, the only perfect Son of Man. 

And now He stands in my stead.

Jesus is ALL I have.

"There is no more that I could give to gain your acceptance now.  Of all the things I do, of all I give away to you, of all I say, or think, or am, to somehow earn your favor-- 

The only thing I have that you accept is Jesus.

The only thing you ask is that I LET HIM BE FOR ME WHAT I CANNOT.

And it really is that simple and yet that hard to grasp.

I am nothing.

But oh, how my Christ is everything!

And when you look at me, God, that is WHO you see and that is WHY you will always accept me."

schoolin' it homestyle

Hooray!  Hooray!  School started last Monday!  And there were NO TEARS!  Well, ok, so maybe I almost cried when our gooey art project turned into a slimy dripping mess of glue on my dining room chairs...

But, we ate a cupcake and threw ourselves a little back-to-school party and all was well with the world once again.  Cupcakes are wonderful like that, don't you know?  They are such happy little icing clad confections that spread their cheer quite infectiously.  I highly recommend their healing attributes.  They will relieve mommies of headaches, children of whining, daddies of worrying, and babies of crying.  What a miracle in a cup!

So, with one week of homeschooling under my belt, I'm ready to proclaim to the world how much I LOVE homeschooling.  (This is where all of you seasoned homeschooling mothers will now proceed to laugh at my presupposed declaration).  There's this wonderfully new sense of peace and purpose in our home.  And it's called A SCHEDULE.  Really, schedules are amazing.  And I'm finding all of us are thriving on it.  I'm rather impulsive and unregimented and I certainly don't always follow my schedule to the letter, but I'm learning how to make schedules work for me and my family and not the other way around.  

While I'm teaching my kids, I'm also learning so much about my role in their lives and the all important part I play in revealing the truth of God's Love to them and the trust He has given me to do so.   What an amazing, fulfilling, and important ministry this is-- the ministry of motherhood.  I'm awed by all that it entails.  I'm humbled by the blessing it is.

It's easy to feel overwhelmed by my responsibilities as a mother, and now this new responsibility of teaching my children academically.  For me, it's absolutely necessary to have one ultimate goal.  One supreme focus.  And that is to teach my children to "Love the Lord their God with all their heart, soul, mind, and strength." (Mark 12: 30) and to "love their neighbor as themselves." (Mark 12: 31)

Everything else in life is secondary.

why do Christians have trouble?

a storm chasing us across the Nebraska prairie

This picture resembles my life right now.  Not to be dramatic or anything...haha.  But really, I feel like storms have been chasing us for so long.  Just when we think we're finally recovering from the last brutal blast, we're laid low again.  I've never bought into the "prosperity gospel", the Bible (and the life of Jesus himself) clearly contradicts it, but it's been preached and advertised from every corner for so long, it's hard not to fall prey to it's prideful message.  According to this false gospel, if we face hardships of any kind then we are clearly not walking in God's will.  Especially if we face financial hardship.  That is of course a red flag (according to this false gospel) that we are not praying correctly, claiming the blessings, walking in righteousness.  This is not a new teaching.  Even in Jesus' time the poor were despised and looked down upon as if God had cursed them with their poverty.  That must have been why Jesus was so adamant that the "gospel be preached to the poor."  (Luke 4:16-21, Luke 7:22)  Jesus even makes what must have seemed an outrageous statement when he claims that the poor are blessed and the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to them. (Luke 6: 20-21)  So why is it so hard for us to believe we are blessed when we have little?

And then there's that nagging feeling as a Christian that maybe our seas would be smoother and we could avoid trouble and hardship altogether if we were just a "better" Christian.   Sometimes when calamity strikes, it creeps into my heart--this haunting feeling of abandonment by God.  But God isn't the one leaving.  He promised he would never leave us or forsake us.  We are the ones abandoning His Word.  Because His Word clearly tells us that "in this world you will have trouble". (John 16:33)  Be ready for it.  Don't despise it.  Don't let others convince you it's happening because God is punishing you.  Don't let the enemy convince you God has left you.  Only hear the words of Jesus echoing through time and into your soul,  "But take heart!  I have overcome this world."  (John 16:33) 

I remember as a young Christian I found little comfort in this verse.  "Yeah, Jesus, YOU have overcome this world, but what about me?  I still have to live in it."  The beginning of that verse came rushing back to me, "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace."  God knew I would say that.  So he gave me a proclaimer.  Thanks, God.  IN Him.  I am hidden IN Christ.   My life is not my own anymore, but His.  And because of that reason, and that reason alone, I have overcome this world.  "For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God."  (Colossians 3:3)

So what do I do now?  I let Christ live and love through me, even in the midst of my trials.  I would lie if I said this was easy.  It's not.  I still struggle with thoughts of God's abandonment or that somehow I did something that displeased Him and that is why I suffer.  But God knew I would question, he knew I would need assurance of His love.   And He filled His Word with assurance:

"Can anything ever separate us from Christ's love?  Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death?  (As the Scriptures say, "For your sake we are killed every day; we are being slaughtered like sheep.")  No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ who loved us." (Romans 8: 35-37)

He loves me.  That's all I need to know to see me through.