this may be a post about toilets and books

Just take a wild guess where this picture was taken.  Where in the world could you find a mother of four busy little children looking so absolutely peaceful?  It only lasted for three, maybe four minutes before some wee little person discovered my absence, but it was peace, nonetheless.  The great white throne room was quite a sanctuary.  Oh yes, you read that right-- I was hiding in the bathroom.  Ok, so maybe it felt just a tad bit foolish, but it was oh so very peaceful.  

I've never before understood why people bring reading material into their bathrooms.  I guess I never had the patience or time for luxurious baths, or for prolonged, uh-hum, toilet seat time (for lack of a better description).  But I've now recognized the importance and overall relaxing indulgence of a good many things to read in the bathroom.  Yep.  I now visit the restroom for that very purpose--to rest.  Why didn't I ever think of it before?  It's quite aptly named.  And reading is my unwinding, my uncurling of the toes, my mental breath of fresh air.  All I need now is a velvet chaise lounge beside my toilette.

And a bookcase.

Most definitely a bookcase.

Or I suppose my iphone will do.  I always said I would never read electronic books, that I preferred the weight of the words in my hand.  But then I discovered free ibooks.  And I can't refuse a free book.  I am one of those obsessive "readers" that has to be reading something all the time, whether it's the directions for my household appliances or even road signs, I MUST read.  I'm a speed reader, not one to skip words, just one to read them fast, hungrily almost.  

Right now, I'm consuming the classics.  They're free (have I mentioned that before).  And they're wonderful.  I was elated to discover some free works written by my favorite missionaries--  Amy Carmichael and C.T. Studd.  I've read Amy Carmichael's works, her prose and her poetry, since I was a little girl, but I just recently discovered her book Things As They Are and it is speaking to every cavern in my heart.  

Here's a list of some excellent free books I have in my ibook library (yes, we were just discussing toilets, but now we have naturally moved on to books):

Things As They Are

Amy Carmichael

Sovereign Grace

D.L. Moody

The Chocolate Soldier

C.T. Studd

The City of Fire

Grace Livingston Hill

Emma

Jane Austen

Home Education In Modern English

Charlotte Mason

Poems

Emily Dickinson

Jane Eyre

Charlotte Bronte

The Scottish Chiefs

Jane Porter

Hope of the Gospel

George MacDonald

(many many free books of his available

and some excellent fiction for older children)

I have to mention one other book you can download for free that I read back in highschool and have always loved.  I happen to own an old vintage copy of it that was printed in the late 1800s.  There are times when even the electronic version can't compete with the real, hundred year old deal.  

It's a classic called In His Steps by Charles Sheldon.

Isn't it lovely?  Don't you just love the old script on the first page?

But I digress.  That is all I am reading at the moment, and in my rest-a-room if I must.

Do you have any suggestions of books I can add to my plush bathroom library?

when God and I are honest

Face in hands, I watch as my tears drip heavy on my wooden floor.  One by one in a silent rain.

"I thought I knew you,"  my own voice sounds distant, strangled, hushed from the burdens it carries, mindful of the wounded pride it hints at.

"Oh, God, you know I said I'd give you everything, you know I promised to sacrifice it all.  But I never thought it would be like this.  Even when you came and took so much I held closest, leaving me mourning the loss of another dream of ministry, a loss of yet another pregnancy, an awakening in a cold hospital room without the comfort of my husband beside me, him being over a hundred miles away and working long hours and seven days a week.  You stripped me of all my security, yet why do I still feel you have rejected all I have surrendered to you?"

My angry words too hastily said now sit in the thick air between us.  I hold my breath, and your truth is here, as surely as I fill my lungs with it.

What sacrifice could I possibly give that would be acceptable to you?

You whisper truth and bring tender freedom, the truth I've always known yet somehow find myself forgetting:  there is no sacrifice but one.

One without sin, without blame, without stain of any kind.  One pure sacrifice made for...me.  His life for mine.  The Son of God, the only perfect Son of Man. 

And now He stands in my stead.

Jesus is ALL I have.

"There is no more that I could give to gain your acceptance now.  Of all the things I do, of all I give away to you, of all I say, or think, or am, to somehow earn your favor-- 

The only thing I have that you accept is Jesus.

The only thing you ask is that I LET HIM BE FOR ME WHAT I CANNOT.

And it really is that simple and yet that hard to grasp.

I am nothing.

But oh, how my Christ is everything!

And when you look at me, God, that is WHO you see and that is WHY you will always accept me."