tick tock...God's clock not mine

I've been slowing down a whole lot lately.

But not because I want to, or for any deeply spiritual reason, but because I feel like crap.

Mornings are the worst. I just want to pull the sheet over my head and pretend I don't have four kids jumping on top of me yelling, "momm-y! come on! we're thirsty and hungry and we want scrambled eggs, toast, oatmeal, and waffles, kay?"

I've tried it. It's kind of hard to drift off into bliss when you're suffering from a mild concussion caused by one of your too sunny morning children landing on your head.

My kids totally don't get the whole concept of sleeping in.

So after the tenth day of having to pinch myself awake, waking up starving but hating even the idea of eating, I pretty much knew.

A little blue on a stick confirmed my suspicions.




I'm a little speechless, m'kay?  Just processing here.

Totally blessed.  Totally thankful.

But totally overwhelmed too, I'm not gonna lie.

And part of me is wondering why on earth I'm posting this so soon and the other part of me knows I can't write another post without writing this one.

A few years ago I said the unthinkable  (I mean really said it and actually meant it),  "God whatever you want, I'll do.  I don't call the shots. I don't run the show.  I'm not in control and I won't get in your way.  I don't want to just say I trust you, I want to live like I do.  Every single detail of my life is yours to govern."  

And it was a downright scary thing to say.   Scarier now when I know what it can cost.   I've had to say it often, because the truth is that my flesh starts to freak out and my mind starts doing somersaults and I have a million doubts and endless questions and I'm sure to raise eyebrows.

And of course it all comes down to trust.

Do I trust Him?

I mean really, really trust him.

And not in that cheesy old adage of a way, the one that's not in the bible, but we Christians like to quote,  you know, "God will never give you more than you can handle."

What?!  For real?!!  I'm so far past "more than I can handle" it's not even funny.  For some reason, this quote brings me absolutely no comfort!  

But you know what does bring me comfort?

God may give me more than I can handle, but He promises to see me through.  

His promises are my comfort.

So bring on the blessings, Lord, those wild, completely unpredictable but absolutely miraculous blessings.

I'm leaning on you.


beautifully rooted: u-turns


I was going through the motions of living...
swirling circles in dishes full of soapy water,
wiping sticky faces, holding babies close,
sweeping the floor a hundred times or more.

But I felt a disconnect in my spirit,
a heaviness like a whole brick load of sorrow.
It was an ache that wouldn't leave and the more I ignored it,
the louder it shouted.


...Read the full article here at Beautifully Rooted...


a rocket and a rainbow birthday

We partied ya'all.  
Celebrated four years of twindom!  
And now I know why cakes are so expensive.  It took me almost two days to make these!  But I really wanted something special for each twin and I let them choose what cake they wanted me to make.  Boston's heart was set on a rocket ship and Astair saw a rainbow cake on pinterest and fell in love.  At first I was worried that I wouldn't be able to pull it off, but I'm really happy and more than a little surprised at how they turned out.  And they even tasted good, too!  If you know me, this is a major accomplishment.  I have a Betty Crocker complex and the kitchen is intimidating territory, but no more!  Step aside, Ms. Crocker, I've got two successful cakes under my belt.

We had loads of fun and I just loved how Boston and Astair's faces lit up when we sang them happy birthday and they got to be the center of attention.  Being the middle children and twins to boot,  it doesn't happen as often as it should.  It was pretty wonderful.  Boston was glowing and Astair was shyly soaking it up.  I love these kids.

I took tons of pictures and here are just a few:

The end of a very happy birthday.


a leap day birthday and fabulous one minute cakes in a cup

Yesterday was Leap Day and the twin's first birthday!  

They are officially four years old but this is the first time in four years they actually got to celebrate February 29th!  So, it was pretty special.  My mom flew in late Monday night so she could be here for the big day that only happens once in a leap year and we're planning a party on Saturday.  My friend came over with party hats and presents (super sweet!) and my mom brought a FABULOUS recipe for cakes in a cup that cook in one minute.  Seriously awesome, mom.  The kids had a blast making their own cakes and it's instant gratification.  I just can't get over how EASY this recipe is and how much FUN it was to make!  Even me, with all my culinarily challenged capabilities, was able to make these without a fuss.  Three cheers for a Happy Birthday and cakes in a cup!!

Here's what you'll need:

1 box One-Step Angel Food Cake  (the just add water kind)
1 box Cake mix of your choice (we used strawberry)
1 gallon ziploc bag
Microwaveable safe average sized coffee cups and/or tea cups  (not glass)

Easy as 1-2-3 directions:

1.  Mix both boxes of cake mix together in a ziploc bag.  Let the kids toss it around a bit.  

2.  Add 2 T of water to your teacup and 3 T of the cake mix.  Stir.

3.  Pop in the microwave for ONE MINUTE and it's done!  Add some whipped topping if it makes you happy.

Happy Birthday, Astair and Boston!

My Dearest Astair, 

You are my sunshine!!  Your heart is so light and your smile so carefree.  You teach me everyday to enjoy life!  You dance your way into our hearts and your little lilting laugh is the sweetest melody I've ever heard.  You're my flower child, running through fields and bringing me bouquets.  You are such a delight!  I love you with all my heart and soul.


My Boston Boy,

You fill our home with love and personality!!  You have the biggest heart and I look forward to your wide arm bear hugs and your "I love you's" every single day.  I love the way you love people and you're always looking out for your brothers and sister.  You never leave anyone behind.  You're strong and sensitive and absolutely charming!  You have my heart completely.


On a Side Note:  I'm sharing over HERE today and I kind of broke out into a teeny tiny cold sweat when it posted because it's painfully honest...


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