the patient pursuit...the way of His love

 { a poem }

I really don't know how to explain it... 

the way God woos me.

Me, unremarkable me.

The one whose house is a mess

and whose erupted emotions have triggered seismographs.

The mom who needs more patience,

or maybe needs more sternness,

or needs them both.

Who most assuredly needs more self control.

And could desperately use some wisdom...

on everything from child rearing to chicken dinners.

The woman who used to keep a running count of her failures,

but the list grew too long to keep up with.

The wife who hates disagreements but even yet,

she argues and won't let a matter drop for anything,

convinced she's right and goes about it all wrong.

And still God pursues me.

Still God looks at me with those eyes so full of love,

I'm tempted to remind him of my failures.

Doesn't He know who I really am?

I've let Him down so many times.

I've set Him aside as I chased after lesser loves.

My heart has doubted and demanded and denied.

And still God wants me.

Still He pursues my heart as if it were a prize.

Who am I, Lord?

That you love me that completely.

That steadfastly.

That you can rule the world and still want my affections.

You invite me into your heart.

And ever so patiently pursue mine.

 { a letter }

My Jesus,

All day I felt Your presence with me.  I chose for worship to fill this house.  Why don't I choose this more often?  I chose to set my mind on You even as children were sick and needed me more than ever, as I settled arguments and corrected attitudes, as I wiped hot heads and wrapped arms around their tired backs.  Songs of worship played quietly in my heart and in my home.  An undercurrent of Your peace was here.  And I realized how desperately I've needed this--Your peace that defies all chaos and convention. 

The kids were tucked in bed and I washed the dishes and swept the floors, picked up toys and cleared the table, scrubbed sticky fingerprints off of sideboards and refrigerator doors.  It was late, and I finally let myself rest.  Tired, but needing a few moments to fill up these empty reservoirs.  And suddenly, You were there.  As if You'd anxiously been waiting for that very moment when there's nothing left to distract me.  And the way You love this heart coaxes tears from tired eyes, fills up all the empty places in me until I think I just might be consumed by it.  Let it burn away the dross in me: the sin and doubt that gnaws holes in my heart, the weariness of life and the drudgery of it all.

My weakness becomes your strength.  My insufficiency finds you sufficient.  And when I would dwell on my shortcomings--all those things that want to hide from the light of your love-- you whisper I'm your redeemed.

How do I go so long without letting You love me like this?  When do rituals replace relationship?  And my temporary wants subtlely compete with my longing for You?

Your love is constant.  Always chasing me and one step ahead of me at the same time.  Just waiting for me to stop long enough to receive it.

To choose it.

To want it.  More than anything else.

And I do, Lord. 

Come and love me like only you can.  

And let me crawl up in your heart and love you right back with all that I am.

-Your Beloved

{ an invitation }

Maybe it's been too long since you've let Him love you.  Maybe your heart is tired and you can't remember what it feels like to be pursued.  To be wanted.

To be loved for who you are when you're at your worst.

Or maybe, just maybe, you've felt forgotten.  Unseen.  Unheard.  And you've found yourself doubting God's heart towards you.

Would you let God sing a song to you?

Would you lay your heart at His feet and let Him remind you-- you are His?

Would you take the time to let Him love you?

He promises to be found by you.

"And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:13

Chasing His heart with all of yours, you'll find He's the One who's been pursuing you all along.

Here's a song for you, dear one.

Hear the truth of His heart towards you in the lyrics below. 

Or listen to the whole session here to be blessed beyond measure by the fullness of Christ's love for you.

More Than Ashes
by Tim Reimherr

I’m more than what these ashes say

They will fade away when He comes for me
By grace, through faith in Christ I’m saved
I am not the same when He looks at me

I am the rose, the joy for which you died
And this I know, I move You with delight
And when my heart condemns on every side
I take refuge in the truth: I am the rose to You

I’m hidden now in Christ and I’m one with Him
My love is real before His eyes
He’s ravished by the sight of one glance from me

I am the rose, I am the lily
I am Yours, I’m Your beauty

There's going to be a wedding
It's the reason that I'm living, to marry the Lamb

I'm more than what these ashes say
‘Cause they will fade away when He comes for me
My love is real before His eyes
He’s ravished by the sight of one glance from me


Southern Gal said...

Yours were the first words I read this morning. Oh, how I needed to read them. You blessed me to the core, Joye. (I could have written those parts of failings, but He loves us in spite of those, doesn't He?)

Now I want to share a song with you. Joy's sister had this played at her outdoor wedding. My daughter and three other girls danced down the aisles first. Then she danced down the aisle with her dad when he gave her away. Yes, it was as beautiful and worshipful as it sounds. And I don't know why, but this all played in my head after reading and listening.

BARBIE said...

So needed for my heart! He pursues me, even when I turn away from Him. In all of my failures and shortcomings He still comes after me. So beautiful!

vintage grey said...

A beautiful and inspiring post! Thanks for always sharing His truth! Have a blessed week! xo Heather

Anonymous said...

Wow. so beautiful. What a wonderfully written post (poem and letter). He truly speaks through you! All to His glory!

The Mouchettes said...

Will you please jot my name down/share with praying friends to plead on my behalf that God will help me repent and receive Jesus and His love? Please pray He will help me think new thoughts about myself and that they would be true--that I will regard myself as/truly be a glad receiver of grace and of his lordship and salvation. Also that I will KNOW that I have faith that saves and genuine repentance. I feel like I try to repent/believe, then I test myself; like, am I willing to write a long confession and publicly share how I've been a sham? Am I willing to be baptized again? And when I feel unwilling I think, well, I must not truly be repentant of pride. SO, please pray that I will repent of pride, and that I'll know when my turning is true. Thanks!

The Mouchettes said...

Please pray for me; to desire/receive God's gift of Jesus.

Joyeful said...

@The Mouchettes I just e-mailed you, dear. Thank you for your obvious heart for Jesus. Please know that I am praying for you and that God's heart for you is unchanging. His love is unchanging. Even when you feel like you've fallen or aren't remaining true to Him--He always remains true to you. "We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to our own way; and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all." We all fall, and to be saved does not mean we will not sin only that the power of sin to enslave us has been broken by the One who took the punishment of our sin on himself. Jesus wants to take your burden of guilt and uncertainty and give you peace. The Bible says "If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved." It's that simple and that miraculous. Praying for you to receive what Jesus has already done for you and TRUST that He will keep you. He forgives. Seventy times seven. Praying you will receive His forgiveness and great love for you. xo Joye


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