12.03.2011

mommy meltdowns, grace, and roses


I've had my fair share of mommy meltdowns recently.  Following a trail of cereal up the stairs and into a bedroom I just recently cleaned definitely set the stage for a melodrama.  Toddler tantrums, bed times that drag on and on and on, mediating between aggrieved brothers and sister, struggling to be consistent with disciplining, schooling, training, teaching, feeding, cleaning.  Battles of the will with a very strong willed three year old and one stubborn eighteen month old.  Second guessing my ability to give my oldest the best education possible.  My heart breaking every time my middle son struggles with stuttering. And all of their issues make me feel like I must be failing as a mother.  I've let their behavior become my report card.  I forget sometimes that we're born into this world as sinners.  I forget sometimes that God doesn't expect us to be perfect.  So I shouldn't either.  He only expects us to be pliable, to be clay in His hands.  To know when to repent and how to walk in His grace.

I had meltdowns.  I acted imperfectly.  I yelled at my kids.  And then I crawled into bed with them and held them close and asked their forgiveness and asked God's forgiveness and prayed for the fruit of the Holy Spirit to be abundant in my life.  And their little arms wrap around me, so quick to forgive, so free of judgement.  So like Jesus.

His grace comes.  Right where I am.

Delivered to my doorstep.  A package of red roses from a man who loves me, who didn't lecture me for losing it, didn't judge, didn't criticize.  Just sent me roses.

Grace is a beautiful thing.

Undeserved.  Unmerited.  God reaching down into my mess and loving me in the midst of it. 

Grace is God's ability to do within me what I cannot do for myself.

15 comments:

Dee said...

XO

Southern Gal said...

This brought tears to my eyes, Joye. How many times have I lost it with my children? How many times have I cried and hugged them close as I apologized for my failures? The grace God extends to us is really unfathomable. So glad you see the big picture through it all. Grace and peace to you today.

Kelly @ Sufficient Grace Ministries said...

Grace is my favorite thing! =)

Lindy said...

I struggled too with my parenting abilities with my 4 year olds stuttering. Then we took him to the speech therapist and it only made me feel worse until I realized I am not a perfect mom, but a perfect mom for my kid! The grace of God is an amazing thing!

Mary said...

amen and amen!
xoxo

Lisa Grace said...

One of the most liberating things I've ever been told is that my children's behavior is not my merit as a mother; my response to it is. So one the days when I look them and think "OH MY!", I remind myself. And sometimes I still fail the test -- I don't respond well. But GRACE! I loved reading your post because I have been there recently too and it was like God was just affirming how precious His grace truly is to us mommas.

Sarah said...

This was such a sweet read.

- Sarah
http://agirlintransit.blogspot.com/

Rachel~Wildflower Photography Studio and a little bit vintage said...

Lovely post, friend! I totally hear ya...and get exactly where you are coming from. Sometimes I think that God gave me the kids He did to mold me, work on MY issues...lol! It's amazing to me how each kid is soooooo different...perfectly perfect. Hugs!

Kelly said...

Such a blessing. Thank you!

LisaMarie@TheEnlightenedBug said...

Whoa. I could have written this almost word for word...just add "yelled at husband" as well! (And I didn't get roses, I got a long embrace, a smile and reassuring words...words I needed to hear at that moment!)

The education aspect is really on my heart as well. I find myself begging God to help me do right by them. I'm slowly letting it go and trusting that I know my kids and I am doing well by them, and He is doing well by me, as He always has!

As always, I feel normal, like I'm not "the only one"...and of course JOYFUL when I leave your blog! :)

BARBIE said...

I fall short every day concerning my children. I am so thankful for His grace!

carissa at lowercase letters said...

yes and amen. i love how us mommies can relate over this so well. what a friend we have in Jesus - to get us through all of life! i hope you all have been well. i have totally missed you. merry Christmas season to that gorgeous family of yours.

Jess said...

what a beautiful post... being a mom can be so incredibly hard. i know that i will think one issue is "fixed" and then another will take it's place (or 2 or 3!). thank goodness we aren't alone!

thanks for your sweet words so much!!! and i would LOVE for you to feature them.

xoxo

Jen said...

Thank you! I needed to hear this today! I just wanted to say that I love your blog. I feel like every time I'm going through something, I click onto your latest blog post and it's EXACTLY what I needed to hear! God is working through you so much and I just wanted to say thank you!

contentedsparrow said...

yes! thank you. i needed that tonight. xoxo

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