learning to trust

Saturday, February 18

Today, Lord, was tough.
I yelled.  A lot.
I worried even more.
I fed my kids bologna for lunch.
I cried over feeding them bologna.
I felt like the worst mom in history.
I needed to get away and I felt guilty for even wanting to.
I ignored my laundry pile.
I forgot where I put an important tax document.
I erupted on my sick husband.
That's where my problem lies, isn't it?
My focus is on myself.
My problems.
My feelings.
My circumstances.

You whispered through the winds of myself,
"Trust me.  My heart is for you."

Lift my eyes, Lord.
And show me how to lay my life down
and pick up your life of love.
Show me how to lay my fears down
and place all my trust in you.
For what are fears and worry and selfishness?
What are anger and depression?
Aren't they all mistrust?

"The people refused to enter the pleasant land, for they wouldn't believe his promise to care for them."
Psalm 106: 24


Miranda said...

Praying for you. This post is beautiful, especially the scripture at the end, how true. Thanks for sharing!!

nicole said...

thank you for sharing ps 106v24.

oh, and you are not alone.

Mary said...

yes and amen.
thanks, sweetie.

Mich said...


Motherhood can be so very hard at times. The balance act gets challenging at times.

But what joy to know that we are NEVER alone in this journey.

Emily said...

i miss so many 'promise land' days because i insist on doing it all myself and giving what little bit i have left to Him! this job is so hard, but our God is so great! xoxo!

carissa at lowercase letters said...

i think motherhood puts us right there all the time... thinking too much of ourselves. i was there today too. trusting in the Lord with you, my dear. and praising HIm for a new day tomorrow. : )

Shades of Gray said...

Beautiful! Thank you for putting it into perspective! It gives us comfort knowing that He is there for us!

Missy said...

We all have those days. Isn't it wonderful that God gives us a brand new day every morning to start over?


ginanorma said...

when you ask "what are anger and depression" it reminds me of something I read recently that says anxiety of all forms are signs of spiritual disconnects or immaturity, although I do believe there are imbalances and some people really suffer..
this was so beautiful put it reminds me too of the poem I wrote YOU ARE ENOUGH...http://contemplatingbeauty.blogspot.com/2011/08/you-are-enough.html
Joye, thanks for blessing us with your heart...

oh dear I loved that psalm you put at the end; today I've been reflecting and hanging on to Psalm 63:3 YOUR LOVE IS BETTER THAN LIFE!
What Lord?! wow.

Abigail said...

I love this..I think being so open with our struggle is when we show our Lord STRONG! :)

Have a blessed rest of your week!

Kelly @ Sufficient Grace Ministries said...

I always gets us in trouble doesn't it. Such a tiny word with the power to tear down, distract, and discourage. Love that He is always faithful to whisper to our hearts...bringing us back...adjusting our perspective...ahh, the Lifter of our Heads. The Whisperer to our weary hearts.

ninaruth said...

hi rubie joye! i just stumbled upon your site this morning as i clicked on a link to make balloon lanterns & wow, did Abba have my number! i'd just been fretting about a loved one & frustrated about my inability to know this persons whereabouts or if they were ok...or to be able to protect this dear one...as if it were up to me...as if God didn't care! well, i didn't quite find the balloon link yet, but i did read EXACTLY what i needed to! thank you!

-nina ruth :-)


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