11:00 p.m., 12:00 p.m., 1:30 a.m., 3:30 a.m., 5:00 and 6:00 a.m...
All appointments I had with my feverish children.
The appointment with their doctor.
That's what it felt like outside at nine o'clock this morning!
101. 5 degrees and 100 degrees
What the thermometer read this morning when I took My Sweetness' and Mr. Personality's temperature.
The actual time I pushed, pulled and prodded the stretch limo stroller into the waiting room of the doctor's office (the only way I can get all three children in one place at one time!)
Summoned into the doctor's office and trying desperately to maneuver the five foot long monster through the tiny cramped quarters without running over too many toes or squishing any fingers.
Still waiting to see a doctor. Reading Little Red Riding Hood for the fifth time in the most dramatic voice possible in an attempt to distract three miserable and bored out of their minds little people from crawling into the doctor's cabinets or touching the hazardous waste trash can.
Now resorting to singing silly songs..."I'm bringing home a baby bumblebee..." Anybody remember that one?
10: 25 a.m.
Holding both wailing babies while the doctor attempts to examine them. "Yep, one has a red throat little mommy." And then the dreaded sermon and the stern look, "You know they're behind on their shots, we've gotta see them right away.
"Oh yes, well, that has been an intentional delay." Fidgeting under the strict gaze, desperately trying to sound confident but respectful, when what I really wanted to say was that I have researched this extensively and feel I am making the best decision for my children's health and safety by postponing their 12 and 15 month shots until they are at least 2 and a half years old. Yep. That's what I wanted to say. Ah, well. Somehow they convinced me to schedule the appointment for them to get their shots (even though I will call and cancel anyway).
11:45 a.m. and 4:00 p.m.
When the pharmacy promised the prescription would be done and when it was actually filled.
12:00 p.m. and 2:00 p.m.
My desperate attempts at putting my children down for naps...desperate, I tell you. And desperately failed attempts, I might add. Sitting in the middle of the floor holding my poor, miserable sick little babies.
I started feeling sorry for myself. "If only my family didn't live 1,000 miles away!" And then I got mad at how pathetic I was for feeling sorry for myself. (Goodness, I only have three children after all and I want more--how will I ever handle it if I can't handle this?)
Lil Man prays, "Dear Jesus, help mommy be nice." Eeeouch. Praying with Lil Man, "Yes, Jesus, please forgive me and fill me with your love and your strength and fill our home with your healing."
4: 30 p.m.
Daddy comes home. Tired and exhausted. To a very tired and very exhausted little family. He recently had a tooth pulled. He needs to rest. Mommy has an opportunity to learn patience, self-control, and selflessness. Mommy fails. Miserably. (Oh dear, why am I referring to myself in the third person?)
Communication breakdown. Wishing I could just escape for a little while. Where's the emergency exit when you really need it?
"Joye, I'm here."
I brushed the barely heard whisper away, now crying into the dirty dishes, frustrated at my failures today as a mommy, as a lover of my God, as a caring wife.
"Joye, I'm here. Let me love you."
"Now, God? I'm not very lovable at the moment. I'm too busy being angry with myself. But really, God, you still want to love me now?"
And then I see it. God is in the business of loving imperfect people. Nothing I ever do will make Him love me any less. It's a mercy I don't deserve, but a mercy that cost Him dearly to give.
He is my emergency exit. My route to safety. I escape the flames because I run through the door of His Son, not because of anything I will do or ever have done.
"Thank you, Jesus, for your amazing love."
Babies finally sleeping peacefully. Kisses, hugs, and forgiveness sought and given from my dearest most wonderful husband.
An appointment with my Jesus. Letting Him love me.
Planning an emergency route for tomorrow that looks like this:
RUN TO JESUS FIRST BEFORE ANY SIGNS OF SMOKE!!